Two Idiots on a Bike: Welsh Motorbike Pass Adventure | Amazing UK Road Trip

Two Idiots on a Bike enjoying a motorbike ride through the Welsh Mountain Passes.

A New Kind of Motorcycle Road Trip

This wasn't our usual UK motorbike tour. This time, I (Idiot 2) took full control of planning the motorcycle route - no oversight from Deon, just a rough list of destination points and a wild hope we would make it back alive. Instead of using Google Maps (too fast), or Calimoto (too slow) like Goldilocks I hoped ChatGPT was just right in finding the best motorcycle routes with good weather and max scenery - all while avoiding motorways.

Day 1: County Durham to Abergavenny (The Long Way Down)

We set off Friday afternoon from County Durham, heading toward Abergavenny on what should have been a 5.5-hour motorcycle ride through Northern England and the Midlands. The planned route took us through motorcyclist favourites like Stanhope, Alston, and Shrewsbury. In true Two Idiots fashion, we missed Shrewsbury entirely, arrived around 11pm, and only slightly regretted our life decisions.

Pro Tip for UK motorcycle touring: Google Maps will give you the fastest route, but not necessarily the most scenic. If you want twisties and views, use multiple apps or ask someone who knows what they are doing (Idiot 1, Deon).

Day 2: The Ultimate Welsh Mountain Pass Ride

After a quick coffee and some tactical recalculations, we set out early Saturday with one goal: ride as many of the best motorcycle mountain passes in Wales as humanly possible before sunset.

The original plan (lovingly stitched together using ChatGPT, weather forecasts and a healthy dose of blind optimism) included:

• Gospel Pass – The highest road pass in Wales, offering sweeping views and tight hairpins.

• Hay-on-Wye – Book town charm meets bike-friendly roads.

• Abergwesyn Pass – A remote rollercoaster of a road, often called the “Welsh Alps.”

• Devil’s Staircase – Steep, narrow and brutal — an adrenaline spike in asphalt form.

• Bwlch y Groes – One of the highest and steepest tarmac roads in Wales. Incredible.

• Pen-y-Pass & Llanberis Pass – Iconic Snowdonia routes packed with stunning scenery and smooth, winding roads.

• Black Mountain Pass – Fast, flowing bends, jaw-dropping scenery, and one of the UK’s best biking roads.

Sound's impressive, right?

Well... thanks to the route-mastermind efforts of yours truly (Idiot #2, professionally unqualified but spiritually enthusiastic), we’re honestly not sure how many of these passes we actually rode. The route got adjusted on the fly, recalculated mid-ride, and interpreted liberally by our GPS. But whatever we did ride — it was stunning. Mountains, hairpins, sheep, clouds, more sheep... absolutely awesome.

Watch the full video on our Two Idiots on A Bike YouTube channel- and if you can name any of the places we actually rode through, let us know. We're still figuring it out.

Day 2 (Evening): The Painful Push Home

After conquering our Welsh mountain pass wish list, we made the painful but pragmatic decision to take the motorways home. Even with faster roads, we rolled into County Durham around 10.30pm — completely shattered, stiff as hell but absolutely buzzing.

Takeaways for Fellow Motorcycle Tourers

• Plan Flexibly: AI route planning is great, but double check the route yourself (or ask someone who knows better)

• Scenic > Speed: The best UK motorcycle rides aren’t the quickest, they’re the most memorable.

• Welsh Passes are Bucket List Material: If you're serious about motorcycle touring in the UK, make North and Mid-Wales part of your route.

Final Thoughts: Why We Do This

Despite the missteps, late arrivals, and sore backsides, this Welsh motorbike pass adventure turned out to be one of our most unforgettable UK bike trips. The roads were exciting, the scenery was amazing, and the chaos? Well, that’s just part of the charm.

Here’s to more bikes, bad planning, and beautiful roads.